I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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