She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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