question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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