week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
