i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize