Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize