was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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