So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
