Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
