I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
