just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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