i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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