I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Found the puke drawer
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
