Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
