did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
