Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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