singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
