so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
