i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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