HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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