you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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