did you get engaged???
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize