Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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