drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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