mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
