my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize