Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell