Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
