he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
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just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
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I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking