Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.