i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.