no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.