my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize