All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
try to milk me bitch
Randomize