real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
