She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
