I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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