Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
