I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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