dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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