im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
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Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
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At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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