seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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