A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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