we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
