I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
