Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
