I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
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I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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