READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Dear god my vagina.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
