I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
