I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
too bad you live with your parents still
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
