The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
