he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
