BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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