who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
