Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
