your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
