On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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