have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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