the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
