It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
