i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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